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  The Top Six Bond Shags!

Due out in November, Die Another Day promises to have a very steamy sex scene. But what are the six best ever? Clive Morris investigates



6 Jill Masterton
Goldfinger
  Friend or Foe: At number six, a once disloyal employee. Jill quickly hands over the reins to Bond , helping him outcheat Auric Goldfinger at cards.
Your Place or Mine: Having outwitted his nemesis, 007 unwisely stays at the scene of the crime - a Miami hotel room.
Sizzle rating: Proof that not only gentlemen prefer blondes, so do gold-obsessed, teutonic psychopaths (though that doesn't have the same ring to it). This kittenish creature is clearly unfazed by the prospect of a P45.
Post-coital: No hope of a return match as their post-coital bliss is cut short by hatted henchman Oddjob. Jill ends up dead and painted gold - a golden handshake gone wrong.
Innuendo: 'Something big's come up.'

 

 

 



5 Major Anya Amasova
(codename: TripleX) The Spy Who Loved Me
  Friend or Foe: Another who crosses over to Bond's side, in the interests of Anglo-Russo relations and a good shag.
Your Place or Mine: Like the Martini ad of its day, any time, any place, anywhere...
Sizzle rating: Not to be confused with Vin Diesel's muscleman xXx, this Russian agent makes her first appearance in bed - a bold declaration of intent. Despite her willingness to get it on in hotel rooms, trains and a mini-sub, she's a tease from beginning to end.
Post-coital: Makes it to the final furlong, but it takes a bottle of champagne to break the ice.
Innuendo: Italian's not one of her languages
     


4 Tiffany Case
Diamonds are Forever
  Friend or Foe Crosses over to Bond's side, aided by a devotion to larceny.
Your Place or Mine Mainly hotel rooms. She must enjoy room service.
Sizzle rating Ruthless with love rivals (one is dispatched from a hotel window), Ms Case is a somewhat confused character, starting out as a blonde, turning brunette then ending up a redhead. Shows that diamonds can turn a girl's head, however.
Post-coital Lounging with a cigarette on waterbed inhabited by exotic fish. Class.
Innuendo 'Really James, I'm very impressed. There's a lot more to you than I imagined.'
     


3 Xenia Onatopp
Goldeneye
  Friend or Foe This foe's as feisty as they come
Your Place or Mine The main action occurs in a Russian sauna room
Sizzle rating: No need to add cold water to the coals - things get pretty steamy. Minus marks though for never actually doing the deed. Xenia's attempt to crush Bond's spine between her thighs probably has something to do with it. Perestroika, it seems, had its limits
Post-coital Our man gets on top of the situation, but Brosnan's Bond hasn't knowingly slept with a Bad Girl yet. Xenia ends up dead in a tree
Innuendo
Xenia: 'You don't need the gun, Commander.'
Bond: 'That depends on your definition of safe sex.'
   

2 Sylvia Trench
Dr No

  Friend or Foe Friend - and, in 1962, the very first Bond girl of all.
Your Place or Mine She surprises Bond in his flat.
Sizzle rating Clad only in Bond's shirt while practising golf, she certainly puts our spy off his stroke. Even today, her brazen pick-up at the casino gets full marks for shamelessness. 'Sexual intercourse began in 1963' wrote poet Philip Larkin. Not for Bond, it didn't.
Post-coital Intended to be a regular in the series, Sylvia was unceremoniously dumped after just 2 films.
Innuendo 'But I haven't eaten yet... I'm starving.'
   


1 Fatima Blush
Never Say Never Again
  Friend or Foe: And at number one - Foe!
Your Place or Mine: On a boat in Nassau, the Bahamas. Later she and Bond are attacked by sharks with laser beams attached to their heads - really.
Sizzle rating: "The greatest rapture of my life was afforded me by Fatima Blush," dictates the femme fatale. Bond agrees, but then he does have a rather large gun aimed at his privates.
Post-coital: Fatima's innards ended up splattered over a stone wall, while co-star Kim Basinger went on to Oscar-winning acting glory
Innuendo: 'Going down, one should always be relaxed'.
     

Clive's Verdict: It certainly pays to be a bad girl if you want to set the screen sizzling. No wonder Miss Moneypenny never gets any bedroom action from her MI6 colleague. The poor love's probably too busy working out the coffee roster But is Pierce Brosnan's Bond just too nice to mix it with the femme fatales? Forget the on-screen humping shenanigans. His 007 should pal up with Naomi Campbell or maybe Tory wife Christine Hamilton - if he really wants a night to remember.


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Long standing friend of spacerUK. Clive Morris is a freelance journalist working for a wide range of magazines and a national newspaper

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